last summer i worked at a music festival
as an usher. which meant having to deal with a several stupid people (who knew that they liked contemporary classical music?)
my two favorites were:

lady: excuse me, miss? could you tell me where row 1 is?

me: what? row 1 is over there, but it's closed off.

- my ticket says row 1

-let me see that. no, it says row 11

-no it doesn't! let me see that! where is the other 1?

-right there.

-oh.

on a different night i was put in charge of the windows, which meant being the sole possesor of the little twisty thingy that closes them, in case there was noise outside the auditorium. i was a bit miffed because a couple had come and sat in the row reserved for ushers, in my seat. a bit later the man got up and tried to shut the windows, and then came over to me and asked if there was any way to close them. i said no, i had the only handle, and i had to leave them open or the auditorium would get hot. having been explained this, he proceeds to not return to his seat, but rather go and TRY TO SHUT THE WINDOW AGAIN. giving up the second time, he finally returned to his seat, leaving me a bit angry yet entertained by his stupidity.
(sponch!, Thu 13 Jan 2005, 0:32, Reply)