Old Houses
When I was a nipper, about 11, I was playing in some derelict houses, chucking bricks at my mates as you do. Well this casual chucking bricks at each other escalated into an all-out war with two teams. One was holed up in an old house, and were lobbing bricks at anything that moved, and me and my team were outside trying to take the building.

As I'd seen far to many war movies as a child I decided that the only thing to do was to storm the building! I armed myself with a dustbin lid as shield and a half brick as my assault weapon and launched my assault.

On the way in I fended off a couple of well-aimed bricks with my trusty bin-lid and managed to make it into the shelter of the ground floor. All I had to do was take the stairs and I'd won.

So I moved towards the open stairs and heard a voice from above. John Winters.

"If you try and come up here I'll stove your bloody head in" quoth John

And with that he started to roll lumps of concrete embedded with half-bricks down the stairs towards me. Not being a total loon I backed off and flattened myself against the wall out of his line of sight.

"I'm warning you" yells John. "Come up here and I'll smash your head in."

And so I waited. for about the next ten minutes big lumps of debris continued to rain down the stairs and then silence. He was out of ammo! Yay! After about 5 minutes I waited and then cautiously stuck my head around the corner to see what he was up to.....

And woke up in an Ambulance. Blood everywhere. Turned out I had a shattered cheekbone and a fractured skull (hairline).

The funny side to this story was that after John had realised what he done he burst into tears and begged the Ambulance guys:

"If he's dead, don't tell his mother it was me!!"

but now when someone threatens to smash my skull in I tend to believe them. Just to be on the safe side.

Cheers

EDIT - Gleeballs - AH! You're using the "it doesn't count as daytime drinking if you haven't actually sobered up from the night before" rule......
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 4 May 2006, 13:19, Reply)