They are sitting in a van outside your house now...
Lived in a house with five mates, usual story, partied hard, fucked the house up, owed loadsa money to landlord and utilities people. Doorbell goes one day and I'm the unlucky one who opens the front door, stoned as a biatch on skunk, barely able to see 2 foot in head of me.

Man with clipboard: Hallo
Me: Hello
Man with clipboard: Do you have tv licence?
Me(oblivious): No thank you, not today.
Man: Youve been sent some letters by us
Me: No I wasnt.
Man with clipboard: Yes you were.
Me: No I wasnt.
Man with clipboard: Yes you were
Me: Yes I was.
Man with clipboard: You do not have to say anything but anything you do say can be used as evidence in a court of law. do you understand that you are being cautioned under the Broadcast Act 1990 as you blah blah blah...

As his voice faded into the background, I started to find it highly amusing that this man was pretending to be a policeman. My girlfriend came to the door to see what was going on and I tried to communicate my mirth to her as the man read off my caution. So there we both were, in absolute stitches at this guy and his clipboard, with the sweet smell of mary jane wafting out of the front door.

'blah...blah...two weeks from now'

He gave me a piece of official looking paper. Completely forgot about the whole episode until two weeks later, a court summons gets posted through the door.

Went to court, charged with Sex with a Telly, Assault and Battery of a remote control and Violation of the Broadcast Law: not having a tv licence. £75.00. Which was still cheaper than buying a tv licence, cos I still didnt buy one after that...
( prem1um is full of life, Fri 5 May 2006, 16:48, Reply)