Do not litter: Maximum Fine £100
Ok, so there was the Wotsit Woman, fined a couple of days ago for throwing a crisp out of her car, and the bloke that disposed of his own private letters in a public bin.

Walking through the city centre on my lunch break one day enjoying a leisurely Bensonian & Hedges I bumped into a friend. In the middle of having a chat, without thinking, I threw the finished cigarette behind me. Tap on my shoulder.

'Is that your cigarette, sir?'

Wah! 'tis Dixon of Dock Green and his bum chum with an environmental warden from the council. They had blatantly all been hiding in a nearby phonebox or shop window waiting to catch a litter lout. Ladies and gents, that fool was I.

I was in a work suit, on my lunch and clearly not the crazed axeman they should have been looking for, however they namechecked and searched me! After checking I wasnt an escaped mentalist, the warden told me, 'I am charging you with an offence of littering the highway. You can pay the £50 fine in person or by post'

One of the coppers must have taken a dislike to my surly comments on how they could be employing their time better and started to patronise me. 'I believe the environment is something which should be cared for, it only takes a second, charity begins at home, blah blah oink oink etc etc' I said 'Yep thanks mate, but youve taken all the fucking bins with ashtrays away cos of bomb threats' He then tried to give me a little plastic white box with a red hinged lid to store my cigarette ends in. It had the councils logo on it and was designed to be clipped on to your belt. I felt like lighting another one up and putting it out in the rent-a-bums eye.

Didnt pay the fine, going to court in a month...(theme emerges)

PS I try to be eco friendly, ethical and green in my life and I hate people that throw cigarettes out of cars, and flicking fags carelessly. Bloody hypocrites...
( prem1um is full of life, Fri 5 May 2006, 17:11, Reply)