b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » I hurt my rude bits » Post 58483 | Search
This is a question I hurt my rude bits

Spent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."

(, Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
Pages: Latest, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, ... 1

« Go Back

Story Of The Lost Ball
True story of my own, and I still have the wristband from the Swiss hospital to prove it.

I was about 14-15 and was away with the school on a Skiing holiday to Switzerland

We hiked to a playground - so I decided to sit on the see saw whilst I caught my breath.

Unfortunately for me I was sitting the other way, so what I didn't notice was that 7-8 people were pushing on the other side, so that I was being raised up in the air.

At first I thought it was a joke by my mates, but unknown to me was that my mates were being held back by a group of scallies, whilst all their mates were lifting me up, and preparing to drop me (see, I was an intelligent unconventional type, which baffled their collective 5 brain cells).

I was now cacking myself, as I began to drop, and drop fast.

I was leaning to my left hand side, and I attempted (unwisely) to support my dropped weight on my left leg. My leg broke just below my knee cap, and the bone came out of the skin. Lovely.

Only, I didn't feel the pain in my leg for about 9 days afterwards, as next in line for a meeting with Mr. See-Saw were my family jewels.

I cannot describe the pain I felt at that moment. Girls, ask any guy how it feels to be hurt down below, and they'll tell you. This was about 6 times worse, easily.

As I crumpled to the ground, the teachers swarmed around me, winced at my leg, and phoned an ambulance.

This is when I cupped by swollen nadgers, and realised that I couldn't refer to them using a plural anymore. One of them had gone. Seemingly nowhere.

When I arrived at the hospital, I spent 6 days in recovery getting a metal pin put into my leg, and have it put in a cast, which EVERYONE signed.

The doctors said to me that my bollock might not come out of my body for up to 3 days, and if it didn't return after that, they would have to operate to bring it back out. Luckily for me, the day they scheduled me for surgery, it popped back out without warning.

It was the strangest, horriblest, most painful thing that has happened to me in my life.

Still hate the little bastards for doing that to me, but to my luck 3 of them were expelled for it. Serves 'em right.

{insert length joke here, as my length would fill the page} badum tish !
(, Sun 16 Jul 2006, 16:33, Reply)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, ... 1