More cock-and-bull stories...
My penis has had a lot of exercise in its time, but also a few injuries.

The first time it was seriously troubled was just before I left for a three-week climbing holiday. The girlfriend I had at the time chose to send me off with a smile on my face by dragging me off into some woodland and shagging me senseless. What she actually did was accidentally tug my cock forcefully into a load of brambles. The three weeks in Poland were a nightmare of rubbing Germoline in, praying it didn't go septic, and hoping my phrase book was implausibly specific in its hospital vocabulary.

The second time involved going to the clap clinic, who had apparently sub-contracted to Dynorod. After treating my penis as if they could extract North Sea Oil from it, they reluctantly concluded that my partner at the time had just been a bit rough.

I'm still unsure about the last time. It may have been an accident, or it may not. See, I was too busy trying to listen to the Ashes to care about my partner's needs, and so I wasn't touching her as she prefers. Naturally she took over matters of stimulation herself. Less naturally, she manages to 'slip' and scratch five inch grooves down my old fella.

The pain of this was in no way improved by the fact that whilst running around the house yelling and trying to find something to stem the bleeding I managed to miss three wickets...

Apologies for length - all these injuries have caused it to swell...
(psd eats stuff. Often., Mon 17 Jul 2006, 21:05, Reply)