I hurt my rude bitsSpent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
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rob, Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
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My own personal arse impalement storygoes thusly: on a (thankfully short) coach trip last year, I found an empty seat and sat down heavily, resulting in pure agony in the region of the right arse cheek. The metal end of the seatbelt had become wedged between the seat cushions, pointing upwards and had travelled with surprisingly little resistance through my trousers and skin. As it was a relatively blunt object the wound turned out to be pretty big and took a while to heal. I didn't make that much noise over it (quite proud of that) and resisted the temptation to ask my fellow passengers "hey, is my arse bleeding?" which tentative examination soon proved anyway.
It must run in the family: 20+ years ago my cousin was in school assembly in a building undergoing renovation. She perched on a plank of wood with a rusty nail sticking out of it. Sorry Nat.
I have also heard (third- or fourth-hand) about a legendary scrotal rippage on a barbed wire fence, which I either don't believe or don't want to think about.
(, Tue 18 Jul 2006, 10:47, Reply)
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