I hurt my rude bitsSpent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
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rob, Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
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BMX Bum Rape1982. I was 11. Woolworth's finest BMX, the Scorcher was my wheels and it looked good. Chrome body, silver pattern, blue mag wheels and a blue seat. A long, hard, pointy blue seat...
My mates had grifters and old choppers and improvised racers with bull horn handlebars. My bike rocked by comparison. Off we went to the local building site where some raised manhole covers made good jumps.
All was going well until I landed front wheel first. I went forward over the handlebars and performed a very elegant handstand. The BMX though continued on its path to glory and the seat (that one, the long, blue, hard one) found a handstanding young boy's bottom hole just too much to resist and entered with some force.
Apparently, the sight of an 11 year old unable to move from the handstand position and screaming for a bike to be removed from his bottom was a sight to behold.
(, Tue 18 Jul 2006, 12:18, Reply)
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