I Hurt My Rude Bits, AgainMy commute to work was made excellent the other day when I saw a motorcyclist try to ride on the pavement to avoid a traffic queue, lose control, fall off and land bollock-first on a concrete bollard. He was fine, eventually – but tell us your tales of the old blinding agony to the gentleman's or gentlewoman's area.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 12:50)
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Blunt force traumaOnce upon a time, myself and a former partner were engaging in some horizontal entertainment, her lying on her front and me on top, like a snake climbing a rock. The lady also happened to be helping herself along as well as being prodded by my teenage member, and this is where it all went wrong (hey! That was last week's question)...
Anybody who has attempted the position I have described will know that it is difficult to maintain at high speeds and, inevitably, I tried to gain too much leverage for her pleasure, ended up disengaging and thrusting forwards, straight into her womanly fingernail.
And it hurt, it really fucking hurt. Blood filled the prophylactic and I ran like a man possessed to the bathroom in order to dunk my wounded lovestick into a bowl of warm water.
My friends still refer to my injury, or BFT as they have taken to calling it, to this day.
Length? Shrank rapidly on impact and about 5 days on the sidelines.
(, Sat 9 Mar 2013, 18:14, Reply)
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