I Hurt My Rude Bits, Again
My commute to work was made excellent the other day when I saw a motorcyclist try to ride on the pavement to avoid a traffic queue, lose control, fall off and land bollock-first on a concrete bollard. He was fine, eventually – but tell us your tales of the old blinding agony to the gentleman's or gentlewoman's area.
( , Thu 7 Mar 2013, 12:50)
My commute to work was made excellent the other day when I saw a motorcyclist try to ride on the pavement to avoid a traffic queue, lose control, fall off and land bollock-first on a concrete bollard. He was fine, eventually – but tell us your tales of the old blinding agony to the gentleman's or gentlewoman's area.
( , Thu 7 Mar 2013, 12:50)
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ill keep this shortish
I used to play county league football. In my last ever game we were short of a goalkeeper. Although I'm a defender, I'm handy between the sticks, so I volunteered.
Let's say I played superbly well, kept a clean sheet, and we won 1-0. Which it true BTW.
Midway through the second half during my cat like antics, I came flying out, threw myself in front of the approaching attacker, took the ball cleanly, but also took a foot, studs up to my groin. Not being one of these girlie types, I picked myself up and carried on.
After the game, going to get into the showers I discovered what damage had been done. 2 perfect tram line cuts down my winky! These weren't your normal little stud marks. They were proper split cuts. Showering stung. Antiseptic wipes bought tears to my eyes, but also tears of laughter for the rest of the team. The only thing that stopped the stinging and throbbing was about 6 pints. I also then had the bottle to not to hospital to get them looked at. 4 butterflies and a bit of sniggering later,I was patched up. For 2 weeks my sex life was more non existent than normal, and I still have the scars to prove this is no lie! :)
( , Sat 9 Mar 2013, 19:32, Reply)
I used to play county league football. In my last ever game we were short of a goalkeeper. Although I'm a defender, I'm handy between the sticks, so I volunteered.
Let's say I played superbly well, kept a clean sheet, and we won 1-0. Which it true BTW.
Midway through the second half during my cat like antics, I came flying out, threw myself in front of the approaching attacker, took the ball cleanly, but also took a foot, studs up to my groin. Not being one of these girlie types, I picked myself up and carried on.
After the game, going to get into the showers I discovered what damage had been done. 2 perfect tram line cuts down my winky! These weren't your normal little stud marks. They were proper split cuts. Showering stung. Antiseptic wipes bought tears to my eyes, but also tears of laughter for the rest of the team. The only thing that stopped the stinging and throbbing was about 6 pints. I also then had the bottle to not to hospital to get them looked at. 4 butterflies and a bit of sniggering later,I was patched up. For 2 weeks my sex life was more non existent than normal, and I still have the scars to prove this is no lie! :)
( , Sat 9 Mar 2013, 19:32, Reply)
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