i don't ever buy anything online anymore
one of the strange things about my flat is that it sets on the edge of a strange rift in reality that produces the unusual effect of gathering all mail towards it. It's a well-researched phenomenon, akin to Biros wandering to unspecified points far from their origin (biromatics).
To be brief : every piece of mail ever lost ends up either at my flat or at a poor sod's place in Houndsditch. Often it's stuff with no address, or a cryptic,illegible address written in some ancient dialect, so there's not an emo's chance in Glasgow of it getting to where it's supposed to go. So for now I am the guardian of this rift in spacetime.
In the last week I have recieved :
A nurses badge.
Six golf balls.
The BNP newsletter.
A pair of shoes i did order from Amazon,followed by exactly the same pair that I didn't order or get billed for.(??)
A 16GB sandisk USB.
And a photo of a microlite.
These are merely monday-thursday stuff.Most of the crap has to stay here as there's no return address.A few get sent off to where they're meant to go,but I have a feeling they'll be back.
The downside of living in this goldmine is that you can't own it - you can only be the custodian of the crapmine.i'll miss all the crap,as I move out next tuesday.But it will be nice to no longer have to spend ages in the post office returning shit.
this story contains only a minimum of embroidering and poetic license.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Thu 21 May 2009, 20:02, 1 reply)

This happened at our old house.
It was almost all junk, there was a wedding invite and a final demand for some bill but nothing ever came of it. Then just as we were preparing to move out, we got the first season Boxset of Scrubs from Amazon.
(sanity challenged, Thu 21 May 2009, 20:40, closed)