Alone on New Year's Eve
not long after finishing my first Christmas job, feeling that combination of giddy with money, lonely and the not-inconsiderable three glasses of amaretto I'd drunk, I decided the only way to stop me feeling so shite was to buy stuff.

I bought a ukulele, because I liked the shade of purple it was.

I still can't even fucking tune it, never mind play it.
(and now for someone completely different, Thu 21 May 2009, 22:28, 3 replies)

sodding ukes
I've had on for about three months and in all that time it has been in tune for about 30 seconds
(lopezthecatkiller has not killed a cat since....., Thu 21 May 2009, 22:49, closed)

I believe the correct procedure is..
tune
tune
strum
strum
strum
twang
put down for a month
tune
strum
strum
strum
twang
put down for a month
etcetera etcetera
(lopezthecatkiller has not killed a cat since....., Thu 21 May 2009, 22:52, closed)

You should ...
frame it and hang it on the wall. Preferably above your computer.

Every home should have a framed purple ukelale.
(Que?, Fri 22 May 2009, 5:37, closed)