Wheels of Glory
Well I’ve been lurking b3ta for many years, but I decided to post for once as this seemed like a topic that is relevant.

~~~~~~~ *Wavy Lines* ~~~~~~~~

I got to that age that all guys do where seeing Wendy Sue and her high-beam bongo’s bursting out of her uniform made me feel like I had to either get my little fella wet or I was going to explode with hormones all over the school playground.

I figured if I could get myself some wheels I’m literally guaranteed to be swimming in so much poon that I wouldn’t know where to stick it. I knew I couldn’t drive till I was 17, so I started saving I jumped the train to school and skipped lunch every day to save up all the money I could to buy myself something.

~~~~~ *Skip ahead a few years and many failed attempts to play the hairy harmonica* ~~~~~

I’d just turned 17 and was weeks away from getting a driving licence with a nice wad of cash saved up for the minge magnet that I’d dreamed of driving for so long.

I had been planning to buy something with a bit of street cred like a golf, basically anything that would make the aforementioned Wendy Sue drop her nacks quicker than you can say hullabaloo.

Then I saw it! I was on the way home from college (now taking the bus, but still managing to not pay full fare) when out the window I saw her! She was beautiful! It was a navy blue with white leather seats, chrome bumpers, a V6 Triumph Spitfire with a for sale sign on the windscreen.

Now let me stop there to explain something, this wasn’t the 60’s or 70’s, this was actually the late 90’s. You see my father was always into classic cars, and when I was younger I had worked on restoring a number of old bangers with him to full health, and he had instilled in me the idea that no matter how big a rustbucket it is, if it was a sporty convertible, then the bitches would come running.

I had to have it!! I jumped off the bus early and ran to the bank (well it was half skipping half running I had a tendency to be a bit camp sometimes), then I got out more cash then I had ever held in my hands in my life, clutching onto it like it was integral to my survival I skip-ran to the house where it was and gave him every penny without even giving the car a once over.

He said something that was probably important, but my brain drowned it out because it was way too busy thinking about how much space there would be to get Wendy Sue aligned in the back seat so that my head wouldn’t hit the window. I knew that if there was anything minor wrong with it I could fix it with my superior fix-it skills.

I didn’t care if it was illegal, I was gonna drive it home, maybe even swing by Wendy Sue’s house and beep the horn just to see if it really would knock the pants off her!

I hopped in, revved it up, drove 20 seconds down the road and smashed into a brand new beamer at about 45 mph.

.....Fuck!
(Panda_z is sweating like a chav in dixons, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:54, 8 replies)

Add.
It turns out I had ignored him saying: “Beware that the throttle sticks sometimes, if it does, just give it a jiggle and it’ll sort itself out”

...Fuck!
(Panda_z is sweating like a chav in dixons, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:55, closed)

aw,shit!

(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Fri 22 May 2009, 17:12, closed)

Love it!
The things we do to be up to our nuts in guts!
(Sir General ***WoW***, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:36, closed)

Apart from the facts that
the Triumph Spitfire wasn't made with a V6 engine and none of the four models produced had a back seat (two-seater sports cars), nice story.
( S tr app y, Fri 22 May 2009, 19:22, closed)

Back seat
Not sure on the V6 fact but I can personally vouch that at least one of the models had a back seat, cause i've sat in it. Well, I say 'sat' it was more like lie across it.
(Kip, Tue 26 May 2009, 13:08, closed)

Hairy Harmonica
Clicked for "Play the Hairy Harmonica", my new favorite phrase.
(danalan Pretty good, for an amateur., Fri 22 May 2009, 21:23, closed)

"the bitches would come running"?
Nice attitude asshole.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Sun 24 May 2009, 6:33, closed)

It sucks when terrible things happen to nice cars...
One of the guys I used to work with brought a stunning E-Type Jag and only drove it for about 5 minutes when he got to the end of a quiet lane and a lorry reversed over the bonnet. Turns out the jag was so low to the ground the lorry driver didn't see it in his mirrors and just stuck it in reverse... eeeep!

Now it’s a restoration project! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 26 May 2009, 12:46, closed)