I have told this story before
But I wish I had saved it for this week.

In March last year, Steve Earle was playing at The Roundhouse in Camden.

Unfortunately for me, I was already busy that night.

I was doing a 4 day Improv course with Keith Johnston (Google him if that means nothing to you)

But becauses of finances and personal issues, I found myself at midday on the Monday I should have been with Keith, alone with ny £400 refund for the course back in my pocket.

So I thought 'Fuck it, I'll go to Camden and see Steve Earle'

So I did.

I spent £55 on a ticket from a tout.

I'd already spent about £50 on beer, taxis, trains fares and food.

Steve Earle did an amazing show.

Then he went off stage for a bit.

Now, we all know that we are going to get an encore. So I buggered off up stairs to the balcony to have a cigarette while I waited.

Then I started to rush back when I realised he had just come back on stage.

I remember standing at the top of the stairs.

I remember looking down.

I remember seeing my shoe laces undone

I remember thinking 'better do them up. Would be embarassing if I fell over'

Then I remember waking up in an ambulance.

Then I remember waking up again in hospital.

I remember seeing the state of my eyes, nose, mouth in the mirror.

I remember speaking to a doctor, but I don't remember what he said.

I remember getting a taxi out of a hospital back to Victoria station (to this day I don't know what hospital I was in)

I remember trying to phone my girlfriend to let her know what had happened.

Then I woke up and my phone was gone.

So I phoned it from a payphone and it got answered.

And four hours later I was spending £50 buying my own phone back from some skag ridden scrote outside Victoria station.

I called the police

And was told this:

'There are no CCTV on the Gatwick Express, and you shouldn't have been on it anyway. And the CCTV here isn't working.'

So, the moral is not just 'don't go to a gig on your own on impulse'

And not: 'Don't think you can just get to Gatwick on any Southern ticket'

But also 'You can mug who the fuck you want, cos the CCTV isn't really working'

And also: If Keith Johnston ever wants to charge £400 for a four day improv course again, I will pay it. Cos all in all, it cost me nearly that anyway.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 22 May 2009, 17:43, 7 replies)

Paragraphs
Have you ever heard of paragraphs?
(SillyMoo, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:33, closed)

Repeat
Have you ever heard of the word repeat?

You could have made a better point if you did not REPEAT the same thing.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:44, closed)

Repeat
Repeat...

Whatever...
(SillyMoo, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:49, closed)

Seriously though...
Stop pressing return twice after every sentence... Might look better when you come to read it... You should try it!

See? I did two sentences there without hitting return twice after each one... amazing!...
(SillyMoo, Fri 22 May 2009, 23:52, closed)

Could not give a shit about what you think.
Could not give a shit about what you think. Could not give a shit about what you think.

Oh, sorry, did I repeat?

Read your profile. You have had nothing to add to this until today.

Until I realised that I may have had a second thought about what you think. But, no... Look at this...I can keep it going without pressing space. I do not give a shit about what you think.

Or, more importantly, I may take your thoughts on board if you had ever had anything worth saying.

Oh well.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:00, closed)

Um
I should not reply to things when I have been drinking.

Sorry everyone.

I go sleep now.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Sat 23 May 2009, 0:04, closed)

I don't understand
How many times were you mugged, you poor sod?
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:15, closed)