Me and a friend, pissed as feck stumbling towards the taxi bay
after a good night out. Between us and the taxis there was a kebab house which I affectionately call "Donate-a-Kebab". He sees this building of delights (and possibly smallpox) and mutters to me "I wanna kebab."
I check me pockets, barely enough to go halves with the taxi.
"I got nothing m8, you have one."
"Ahhh, I'll buy you some chips mate, no probs."
"Cheers matey" grins I. We stumble in. After a minutes wait and me mate glaring at the menu above the counter (he's got 10% vision when he's sober, the alcohol wasn't helping) he goes "I want the giant one...thing, biggest bab you got! Oh and get Jeccy some chips too."
After a few minutes they cart out this fuck-off massive tray of bacterialness, pass it to my friend and give me a small poxy tray of chips. I wasn't complaining, I was drunk and eating chips for free, so it's still a win. It cost about £12 for this mammoth kebab (which could have contained mammoth, it was a truly massive box of mess covered in salad, coleslaw, chili sauce etc).
We wonder outside, and me mate takes one forkful.
"I don't like it. Jeccy, swaps for your chips?"
"Eh?"
I dutifully swap and end up eating this huge kebab in the taxi, while he scoffs up all the chips with a big grin on his face. That'll learn him to blow £12 on a kebab when he can hardly see for fuck's sake, stupid blinder.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 26 May 2009, 8:56, 1 reply)

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( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 26 May 2009, 11:09, closed)