last one not for the squeamish ;)
OK - picture the scene...
My older brother [15 years to my 13] and I were playing at a friends house when I slapped him round the back of the head with a 2x4 piece of softwood - not too hard - just enough to get his attention. While he was dazed I ran off [understandably!!] and hid round the front of the garage - but he didn't know I'd hidden. As he came running down after me I sprang round the corner - "BOO!!!" - stopping him in his tracks. While he was stunned, cue a swift, hard kick to the groin, laying him out for a good 10 minutes. Why? Because I could!

Also...
He's now 17, me 15. He was sitting on a chair in my bedroom while I was on the floor and he wouldn't stop kicking me so I picked up the nearest thing to hand - one of my precision screwdrivers - and thrust it into his knee, just to the side of his kneecap. The whole screwdriver-y bit went in - all 50mm [2in]. Well he stopped kicking me and then insisted that *I* remove it!! Fairy Nuff.

Finally - he gets his own back...
Bro now 19, me 17. My girlfriend is sat in the lounge & I'm leaning forward to kiss her [awww] and bro decides to kick me up the backside. I swing round to give him a right hook, but didn't know he was carrying a piece of kitchen worktop... he'd angled it at about 45 degrees in front of his face *just* as my nicely executed, square punch was due to arrive. Needless to say I hit the worktop and split the knuckle of my little finger open [where finger meets hand], exposing my bone to the open air and sending blood spatters up the newly decorated lounge wallpaper. Git.
(bartholemew_chunky_bottom, Thu 18 Aug 2005, 16:48, Reply)