I'm not a cunt, honest.
Asides from providing me with regular beatings and ritual humilation, my older brother served just one truely great purpose of supplying me with tremendous laughs due to his mong-like tendancy to cripple himself at every given oppurtunity.

Like the time he decided to form a small explosive device using a stone, caps, sellotape and SHARDS OF A COAT HANGER. I'm not sure how long it took them to remove that piece of metal out of his eye. To his credit, he'd "thought it'd gone out".

I also remember him trying to prove they he could dive right through the leylandii that bordered our garden. So after strolling around to the other side to see how he'd fared, how else was I meant to respond to the sight of him sticking out the other side from the shoulders up, complete with a bit of tree in his neck and blood coughing up from his mouth; I almost pissed myself with laughter.

Finally, I remember the time I was finally sick of all the countless times of bullying attacks, so my mate and I eventually saw red and attacked back, pushing him over and throwing nearby garden objects on to him - toy chairs, bikes and the like. We stopped by the time the pile got half a metre high and the legs poking out from the bottom had stopped writhing. I guess it was a little harsh, but it had been 5 years in the making.

Hmm, rereading this post it seems like *I'm* the bastard. I'm not, you know, the guy was an utter shit! At least a laughter came from it too.

Sorry for length and whatnot.
(metalgearal, Mon 22 Aug 2005, 16:38, Reply)