Accidental innuendoFreddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"
What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context
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chthonic, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
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'celloI heard this tale in reference to Benjemin Brittan, but I ain't certain.
However, there was once a venerable and well respected conductor working with an equally renown orchestra. All was going well with the bloke in front waving his arms about the place like a loon and all the musicians strumming, banging, parping to their heart's content (or whatever it is that they do). But there was a problem with one member of the string section; a female cellist just wasn't doing it right - all out of tune/time; really just spoiling it for everybody else.
The conductor stops waving his arms about and taps his stick on the thingy in front of him, there is a hush. He turns his attention to the lady cellist and says," Madam, between your legs you have one of the most wonderful instruments known to man, and all you can do is to sit there and scratch it."
(, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 15:10, 3 replies)
I thinkit's an urban legend, but it's funny all the same.
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 15:16,
closed)
I think......there's a bit about it having "the ability to give pleasure to many" too.
(, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 16:30, closed)
It was...... the conductor Sir Thomas Beecham. The story is widely documented in various biographies and collections of anecdotes.
(, Fri 13 Jun 2008, 21:30, closed)
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