Accidental innuendoFreddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"
What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context
(
chthonic, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
« Go Back
Old ladies are the best for this.Mom was out playing golf one day with three of her friends- Toni, Peggy and Pat. At the time they were all in their late fifties and were well past the age of really caring much what people thought of them.
Apparently Toni had sliced pretty badly and her ball landed in the woods. After some hunting around she found it, nestled into the leaves and twigs.
Just about that time Peggy took her second swing on the fairway, having landed a bit short of Toni's shot, and sliced as well to land in a sand trap. She was annoyed and cursed.
Apparently it sounded like this:
Toni: "God damn it, look at this! What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"
Peggy (not hearing Toni's grousing and seeing her own lousy shot) "Gah! Piss on it!"
Toni(hearing Peggy clearly): "Great idea! That counts as a water hazard!"
Mom was still giggling when she arrived home.
(
The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 12 Jun 2008, 16:55,
6 replies)
pfftbut harsh to call them old even before they reach 60
(, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 17:22, closed)
^I didn't see the word "old" in there.
(
flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 12 Jun 2008, 17:40,
closed)
^Me neither.
(
Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 17:55,
closed)
It's right there"Old ladies are the best for this"
(, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 19:59, closed)
Didn't notice that bit.(
flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 12 Jun 2008, 21:23,
closed)
Heh True, I suppose......yet at the time I was in my teens, so they seemed quite old to me. That, and Mom's friends were at the stage of their lives where they cut off all their hair until it was shorter than mine, wore a lot of polyester stretch outfits, didn't own cosmetics anymore, and generally had stopped caring much about appearances. To me, when any person, male or female, reaches that point they're old.
(
The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 13 Jun 2008, 13:10,
closed)
« Go Back