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This is a question Accidental innuendo

Freddy Woo writes, "A woman I used to work with once walked into a car workshop to get her windscreen replaced, and uttered the immortal line, "Have you seen the size of my crack?"

What innuendos have you accidentally walked into? Are you a 1970s Carry On film character?
Extra points for the inappropriateness of the context

(, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 12:05)
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Inadvertant doggie porn
I can't remember exactly how old I was when I said this, but it was certainly Old Enough To Know Better. Let's say 18 or 19.

I don't know if any of you are aware of this, but generally speaking, if you blow on a dog's mouth, it makes him yawn.

However, if you blow on his nose, he will generally just lick your face off. Or sneeze. So my mum was doing the 'making her dog yawn' thing, and I copied. I think I got his nose rather than his mouth, because it didn't make him yawn, but he licked my face.

If you've stayed through this ramble, well done. It gets better.*

My dad was explaining the yawning phenomenon to someone, and I actually said, with a perfectly straight face:

"He always licks me when I blow him."

I suck.

Actually, there I go again...

*may not actually get better.
(, Thu 12 Jun 2008, 22:56, 4 replies)
I miss that dog
You didn't even need to blow on his face. My ex was sitting down on the floor and at the exact moment she yawned, he'd got his tongue right in her mouth. I was in hysterics as she ran to the bathroom screaming.
(, Fri 13 Jun 2008, 1:27, closed)
^ ^
(, Fri 13 Jun 2008, 2:34, closed)
mr b3th is trying to teach our dog to 'do kisses'
His idea of kisses seems to be to lurch at you as fast as possible and stick a wet nose right in your gob.

I am not encouraging of this behaviour.
(, Fri 13 Jun 2008, 11:36, closed)
@flirting with badgers
Yep, very ewwww.

The ex and I are still great friends and she still regales me by describing how disgusting it was.

(, Fri 13 Jun 2008, 15:00, closed)

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