Janet and John go to a dog show
I'm sorry...


Today, Janet and John are going to a dog show. Do you like dogs? Janet and John do.

The dog show is at the Church Hall. Janet says, 'Hurry up John, or we'll be late!'

See John struggle to get into his tight leather trousers and pink frilly shirt.

Can you roll your eyes? Janet can.

Soon Janet and John are ready to leave. See Janet strap John into the car-seat, and put some saucepans in the back of the car.

When they arrive, there are lots of people with their dogs in the Church hall.

Janet is helping with the refreshments. See Janet put on an apron. Janet says, 'While I'm helping with the food, I want you to be a good boy. Do you understand?'
See John nod his head.

John sees Mrs Bickerdyke. 'Eh-up fluffywhiskers', says Mrs. Bickerdyke. Mrs Bickerdyke is from Yorkshire - see the dark satanic mills.

Mrs. Bickerdyke says 'Eeee, you're just the man I wanted to see'. See John look nervous. 'Give me a hand to get some stuff in from the car and I'll buy you an Eccles cake'. Eccles cakes are John's favourite.

See John helping Mrs. Bickerdyke to lift some heavy boxes. John says 'I haven't seen that little dog in your car before, is it yours?'

Mrs. Bickerdyke says, 'Yes, she's a prize Schnauser, I was going to bring her in, but she's a bit nervous'.

When all the boxes are out of the car, Mrs. Bickerdyke says, 'Right, I need these shifting to the back door of the Hall where I'm setting up my stand'.

John says 'What are you selling Mrs. Bickerdyke'? Mrs Bickerdyke says 'I'm selling sparkly coats and fashion accessories for dogs, they're very popular'.

When John and Mrs. Bickerdyke have finished setting up the stall, the Verger takes some photographs for the Parish Magazine. John likes having his photograph taken - see the cheesy smile.

Then Mrs. Bickerdyke buys John an Eccles cake, which John quickly gobbles down.

After John has had a look at all the dogs and the sandwiches and tea are served it is soon time to go home.

Janet and John get back into the car. Janet says 'I nearly forgot to bring back my saucepans, did you have a nice time John?'

'Yes', says John. Mrs Bickerdyke gave me a treat after she showed me her Schnauser in the car park, then I did her a favour and took her doggy fashion round the back of the Village Hall and the Verger took some pictures for the Church newsletter.

Do you know how to ruin a perfectly good saucepan? Janet does. See the dents.

Poor John.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 15 Jun 2008, 23:29, 5 replies)

You're not a bit sorry and you know it.

not sure if those pics were such a great idea for the church newsletter though.....
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Mon 16 Jun 2008, 0:03, closed)

*click*
Nice start to the day, thanks.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Mon 16 Jun 2008, 9:04, closed)

I wish I could take credit for these
However, I just can't come come up with such convoluted scenarios. I don't know how Mick Sturbs does it, but I'm glad he does as I regularly piss myself laughing listening to these on t'radio.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Jun 2008, 10:50, closed)

Nice one!
Not as easy as it looks is it? Last one I did was for the 'My first experience of porn' QOTW.

Can't do the linky thing I'm afraid.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 16 Jun 2008, 11:48, closed)

Radio 2
Fantastic...

Does anyone remember Mark & Lard doing Radio One's afternoon slot? They did the innuendo laden "Fat Harry White's love in the afternoon". Helped ease the pain of many a day at work.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 16 Jun 2008, 12:06, closed)