friends are weird
me and dave, my uber best mate, have one of those friend things where you always know what the other will say, and get odd urges to do something really un-pc at the most inappropriate time.

we met under crappy circumstances in secondary school, and started off hating each other, mainly cos i was annoying and quite hyper. it was only til the day our design teacher told him to ignore my annoyances that we forged a begrudging respect for each other, that eventually blossomed into friendship.

after all, anyone who can ignore me staining his whole arm purple, covering it with glue, bits of paper from a hole punch, glitter, and various items of stationary NEEDS respect.

anyway, that developed into our friendship today, which led to the funniest thing we have ever done: Shit Wars.

we were at an exhibition, and both had been eating terrible overpriced food, and drinking heavily, as it was quite sunny. thus, after a while we both really needed the shitter. so, we went upstairs, and sat in cubicles next to each other. and so began the amazing war of shit.

me: (mortal kombat style) "FIGHT!"
*i shit*
*dave shits*
*both sniggering like teenage girls*
*i shit more*
*dave shits more*
*someone enters the cubicle next to me*
"WE HAVE A NEW CHALLENGER!"
*dave cries with laughter and almost falls off his toilet*
*i pull paper really noisily*
"FINISH HIM!"
*wipes arse*
*flushes*
"FATALITY!"
*dave comes out shortly after*
"BABALITY!"

it was fun. so, so much fun. please try it, noisily, in public. or at a really fancy black tie thing.

apologies for length and girth, it won't flush now. send me a plumber, worthy of mordor.
(fantomex, Sat 29 Jul 2006, 13:42, Reply)