Miss Winklevoss
Six years ago I was talking to a female photographer from Texas who was delightfully nutty - she used to dress up as zombies/nineteenth century ghosts/werewolves for photoshoots and showed me her latest pics through photobucket or somesuch. She kept insisting I should fly out and take photos with her in Deer Park but I politely declined, reasoning that it was a long way to travel to use up a roll of Kodak.

But the reason she sticks in my mind is because of the audio files she used to record while we were chatting on msn. I still keep them as wav files because I find them charmingly oddball.

"Umm... hello Robby? This is Candace? Yeah, so... fun times out here... YOU ROCK!" (you have to imagine the teen Texan accent)

"So Robby, we should go take some pictures and thennnn... go rock out werewolf style aaaaaaaand.... yeah! That's what I got!" (I'm unsure as to whether this means she wanted me to go slaughtering with her or simply listen to some Warren Zevon)

"Uhh, yeah buddy, so, you know. It sounds like: 'Oh dangggg... DAAAaanggg... daaaaNNGGG... DAAAANNNNGGGG, yeah!" (erm, nope, can't remember what this one was about)

"Uhh, yeah Robby, so YOU ROCK! I'm just gonna eat a chicken quesadilla from Taco Bell because it's so A-A-A-A-A-AMAZING!" (shocking product placement)

and, after I told my supervisor Jeff about her, asked her to mediate in a game of petty name-calling at work:
"So, this message is to Jeffrey? Regarding the name 'Roberto Squirto'? I'm just gonna say, er... hard times. Hard times out there. That's what I got."

They'd make good samples, I think. Sadly, I remain untalented in that field and after these exchanges we drifted and I never spoke to Candace again :(
"Have a good night, aaaand pleasant dreams. Yeah!"
( The Silent Channel is getting his recommended 5-a-day, Sun 25 Nov 2012, 17:46, Reply)