oh, and something else
putting things tissue paper or wool in my mouth. Or cat food. Or piss. Or shit. I'm basically scared of myself, and the fact that the only thing holding me back from licking the stinking cat food off of the fork or necking a urine sample is because I don't want to. I fear that my mind, which has proven HIGHLY unreliable, is not a failsafe enough device to stop me doing mad things. This is insanity. I think too much. I will think less.

Oh, and soft toy stuffing material... it's like cotton wool but it has a certain lumpiness and impurity. And lumps deveoping in my duvet. Keeps me awake at night that one. But mainly just The Phanton Raspberry Blower (spazz back) and the fear of what only my mind is stopping me from doing.
( dotmund .co.uk, Wed 28 Jan 2004, 18:51, Reply)