Be Afraid... Be Very Afraid...
Apologies in advance for v. long post.

As a child when I went shopping with my mother we used to park the car in the Multi-Story car park. I used to have nightmares about said car park, which had a long spiral ramp which seemed to go on forever. In these dreams I would be in the car park and the entrance to the ramp would be in darkness. I would slowly, powerlessly, be drawn towards this ramp, and down, down, down into the depths below. Needless to say, the concrete surface had transformed into something more slippery than teflon, and I would find myself, wearing only socks on my feet, helplessly slipping down towards unknown horrors below. With Teeth.

Gary Larson, cartoonist of "The Far Side" defines "luposlipophobia" as a fear of being chased by timber wolves around a kitchen table whilst wearing socks on a newly-polished floor. This great cartoon is similar to the Car Park ramp thing.

I also hate making telephone calls, especially to strangers, and even more especially if I actually want something from them and have to ask for it, such as an overdraft, a date, etc. This could be why I have: a) No Money; and b) No Girlfriend.

Things That Look Like Snakes. Whilst walking, especialy in the dark, any stick, piece of wire, tree root, that looks like a snake can turn me into a gibbering wreck. Funnily enough actual snakes do not bother me.

Large Dogs. I once had a friend whose house had two back doors and no front door. To ring the doorbell I had to open the gate and walk through the garden, past his pet Alsatian. I knew for a fact this dog was as soft as anything, but it still scared me s.h.1.t.less to actually open the gate whilst this creature stood looking at me, drooling. In fact any large black and brown dog, such as Dobermann or Rottweiler is scary.

Wasps. In daylight, outside, they are just a nuisance, but at night, in my bedroom, they may as well be vampires, demons or whatever. I cannot sleep until said "wee stripey bastard" has been removed and all doors and windows are sealed to a standard which Fort Knox can only dream of.

Whether this is something to do with the Car Park thing I don't know but I hate the idea of walking/cycling/driving down really steep hills. Up is fine, but going down, especially, for example, on an icy road with a sharp bend at the bottom, not nice.

Cows are evil. I'm sure of it. They know I eat beef and drink milk and they want their own back. Walk through a field of cows? In the dark? No way! I'd rather sit in a river...

Except...

SWANS!! Aaaaaagh! The biggest, most vicious, evil bird in the UK. They can break a man's arm you know. Not so bad when they are in the park lake and you are on the bank feeding them crusts of bread, but you try being in a small inflatible dinghy trying to outrun one, when you have already seen it chip the paint on a metal narrowboat with its beak, because it thought its reflection was a rival swan. My friend (see below) once saw a swan deliberately drown a small terrier for pinching some of its bread and growling at it.

My friend is afraid of Moths. He can skin and chop up a rabbit, walk through fields full of cows / bulls, but anything "flappy" such as moths and daddy-long-legs and he is reduced to a little girl crying for daddy.

Don't even get me started on my Obsessive-Compulsive fears which could fill another page
( Amos E Wolfe makes vinyl signs and things like that, Thu 29 Jan 2004, 17:13, Reply)