Your average common or garden person in the street
Often elderly ladies though can be any age or sex.

I'm always polite and friendly and this can, and often does, lead to conversations with total strangers saying some crap or other about the weather or the price of cheese and though I'm feigning an interest there's a little voice inside me saying "Please kill me now".

I will normally attempt to politely extract myself from such situations by saying something like "Oh well, what can one do...nice meeting you...". If that doesn't work, maybe a quick glance at the mobile and an "Is that the time? Would love to stay and chat but I'd better be on my way".

However, some of these bastard, fucking, mostly old bags, have honed their art to perfection and can keep me standing there having a conversation that I don't want to have for 20 cunting minutes.

I'm sure they do it deliberately, to wind me up, to test me, to try to make me flip...
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 18:59, 9 replies)

I have that problem on occasion.
I am a dull misanthrope who generally looks like a failed Hitler Youth, but I still have the odd occasion where some older person (and I'm not young) attempts to converse with me without solicitation.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:07, closed)

it's funny you should say that
because I was just saying to the doctor the other day – I've got something wrong *down there* – I said to him isn't it funny that there are so few people who'll stop and have a chat with you these days not like the war when everyone pulled together oh yes my Jack was killed in the war not on active service – he was a martyr to his bunions you know, had to buy special shoes – no, he was killed in the outside lav when a bomb hit winchester street but at least people were polite and you could leave the money out for the milkman and there was no chance of gypsies coming in and looking at your smalls but the doctor said to me if I don't drink more water my giblets will drop out like our elsie's did she was only 49 but she'd had five already you see well you had to it was the war and you'd do anything for a bit of company because you get lonely you see you'll understand when you get to my age has the bus been already i get a bit confused when they change the clocks we never used to do that but it was lighter then have you heard about japan
(Valentine_Sprake immanentising the eschaton since 1983, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:09, closed)

It's you!
It's you that has been stalking me in various disguises all these years.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:17, closed)

Yes.
For I am The Shrander.
(Valentine_Sprake immanentising the eschaton since 1983, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:19, closed)

I had to look that up
and I see that it's a boooook reference so it probably isn't you afterall. These fuckers don't read, they just hang about in supermarkets.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:26, closed)

Good book though.

(Valentine_Sprake immanentising the eschaton since 1983, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:33, closed)

Is it about cricket
I (seem to) only read books about cricket, about 1 every 2 years as it happens.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:00, closed)

No
Sorry for bothering you. Anyway, India? Well pleased about that.
(Valentine_Sprake immanentising the eschaton since 1983, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 23:51, closed)

I get that all the time.
And for some reason, I am targetted by dribbling loons that seem to think just because I don't go round with a scowl on my face means I want to talk to them.

NO!!!
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:20, closed)