Women's Magazines
Every time I walk past a newsagents, and see all the womens magazines stacked up on the shelves, I just see red. As far as I can tell, I lump them into two broad categories of purely platonic rage:

First, the "celebrity" magazines (Hello, OK, etc) which seem to almost exclusively consist of Jordan and related twuntishness. But despite familiarity breeding contempt (and believe me, it's at the point where I could enter a pedigree contempt into Crufts), I'm used to this and merely wish the psychotic bint an agonising death (and even then, there'd be another few months of news over the whole thing).

Second, and much more psychotically hated, the "life stories" magazines (Take a break, etc). Now, I'm not quite sure what drives women through their daily routines, but a quick glimpse at these sorts of magazines makes me feel that everyone who developed ovaries at birth has a real sense of sadomasochism.

Has anyone really looked at these things lately? They practically scream MURDER! PAEDOS! RAPE! CANCER! FREAKS! in a glaring pink and yellow font designed to give me a headache. I mean, who really gets off on reading this on a lunch break? What sort of twisted person discusses this in the canteen? "Oooh, this girl got molested by her stepfather's hairdresser's budgie. Pass the salt, Carol" It makes no sense...

Fuck it - I need to calm the hell down before I explode in a cloud of confused rage.
(Nykrus, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 12:36, 6 replies)

"developed ovaries at birth"?
Are you from another planet?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 12:42, closed)

My apologies for that one
My head's currently filled with thesis deadlines. Thought it looked a little weird at the time.
(Nykrus, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 13:36, closed)

Most women with half a brain
don't read them. I've certainly never paid good money for one.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 12:57, closed)

Celebrities no, life stories: FUCK YEAH!
www.takeaweirdbreak.com

Just feel the insane goodness.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 13:00, closed)

Oh gods
I think I might rupture a blood vessel reading that for too long - whether from misanthropic rage or trying not to piss meself is another matter entirely. Top find!
(Nykrus, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 13:40, closed)

All Celebrity Twuntery
...and if you think it's bad in print (and it is), then weekend TV is utter torture.

Not that any of this is irrational.
(MartinB9999, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 20:03, closed)