I used to have an old Nissan Micra
known as the Green Machine. Was older than me (just). One day I found a spiderweb in the offside mirror.

I named him Terence. He was tiny. I loved his ambition. If I didn't use the car for a few days he'd try to cocoon it. No matter what crazy scheme he'd try and fail at, he'd always turn up a couple of days later in the mirror, ready once again to begin plotting his next method to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! He went all over the south coast with me. I loved Terence. His web never bothered me, it was quite fun watching him cling on, buffeted by 54mph winds (twas a very shit car).

My brother (who was older, so the car was insured in his name) borrowed the car one day, saw the web, and took the GM through a car wash.

*sobs*

bastard

RIP Terence
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Sat 2 Apr 2011, 1:48, Reply)