Yep yep I've got a sore patch at the front of my tongue already and I want a cigarette. I could blame you for this.

There are a couple of other things that do it too. You'll like this one: have you ever seen a glass cutting tool? Usually it's just a little wheel that scores a line on the glass, but sometimes, sometimes, they have a little row of square grooves that you can use to grab different widths of glass to snap them off. You could get all the way back to your first molar with one of those beauties.
(Hypergluco, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:11, 2 replies)

What if it was dark though
and when you reached out for a cigarette, you accidentally picked up a BACK DOOR KEY and put it in your mouth? Eh? Eh? Eh?
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:15, closed)

Or a glass cutter? I think it has something to do with the way keys are cut - the rough hewn edges of the teeth. On yours. Oh also whenever I see a bayonet I imagine it going between my teeth and twisting. Another cracker. I got that from the Krays I think.
(Hypergluco, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:18, closed)

My brother had a gap between his front teeth when he was about 4 and he often got his spoon stuck there,
and would scream the place down while our mother tried to dislodge it. That was pretty horrific but it didn't make me afraid of spoons.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:22, closed)

Yes, but...
I bet you don't often put a spoon in your mouth vertically, do you? It's crossed my mind.

We have old silver sheffield pattern teaspoons here. They all end up like scoopy, teeth-shattering blades.
(Hypergluco, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:31, closed)

Oh hell yes, the glass-cutter guide. My father had one of those.
Thank you SO much for reminding me.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:17, closed)

Too much
I'm going to have to get intoxicated. This is like a waking nightmare.
(Hypergluco, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 13:20, closed)