Computer viruses
Specifically, the overweight spotty virgin who last saw ladybits when he fell out of his own mother's who has spent his time making Vista Antivirus 2011 run in safe mode, block all my browsers and crash my computer when I start shutting its processes down. Really, did you think I wanted to spend my one free evening off from lab this week fighting to get some sort of software to fix my main desktop onto it while your fucking cunty program blocks me at every turn? Get a real job you lazy piece of wanking pus-riddled fat. Stop bullying innocent people into giving you their bank details or I wish eternal torture by Ag-a-doo being played at your mercilessly while Jeremy Clarkson makes papercuts between your toes and Vanessa Feltz gyrates in a pick velour jumpsuit telling you how Jordan's ruined her latest marriage. You sir, are a cunt. The lowest piece of scum ever found on this earth. You are not even fit to writhe and slime between the microscopic balls of Nick Clegg.

*And breathe*
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 20:56, 13 replies)

I like your rant
But it's perfectly rational. The last virus I had fucked up the main partition on me HD.....lost everythang :(
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 20:59, closed)

I know it's rational
but I just needed a rant! And possible advice :(
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 21:03, closed)

Is the problem the virus
Or the antivirus program?
( Scrumper, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 21:28, closed)

It's a virus
that pretends to be an antivirus telling you your computer is infected so people will pay for the "full" version. It's evil.
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 21:39, closed)

Sounds like either spyware or malware
Focus on cleaning for those instead, might help a bit.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 22:06, closed)

Plenty of tools for that
Sounds like it. Usually easier to get rid of.

AdAware used to be good. I haven't had cause to scrub a Windows box clean in a while though.
( Scrumper, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 17:06, closed)

Some call it scareware
I call it a pest.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 4 Apr 2011, 22:11, closed)

Put it through the dishwasher
Clean the viruses right off.
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Mon 4 Apr 2011, 21:28, closed)

Install Microsoft Security Essentials
It's surprisingly good.

Also, this link may have the information you need.

www.2-viruses.com/remove-vista-anti-virus-2011.

I've removed a few of these, they're pesky little buggers and no mistake.

To prevent further re-infection, stay away from dodgy download sites, and don't use bittorrrent, it's a hive of scum and villainy these days. Any more details, drop me a line.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 4 Apr 2011, 21:57, closed)

Thank you!
I have a majorly busy week and a couple of people helping me out so I'll keep you posted, hopefully I'll have kicked into submission early next week :)
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:10, closed)

No problem.
Drop me a gaz if you have any trouble. As long as your work is backed up, you can always reformat to zeros and start again.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 12:30, closed)

Serve you right for trying to look at porn at work.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 22:11, closed)

Sigh
I wish I had been looking at porn at work, then it'd be someone else's job to get rid of it. I wasn't even looking at porn. What a shit way to get a virus!
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 9:09, closed)