Wandering bollocks
Sometimes, when a bloke is a bit warm his scrotum doth became baggy. Sometimes in this situation, you can sit down, your trousers pull a bit tight and the crotch seam bisects your knackers leaving your scrotum cleft in two with a plum either side.

I hate it when that happens because I know that inevitably, and without warning, one testicle will ease itself across to be with the other one, which can be bloody tender to say the least as it slips behind the seam. It's worse when you're wearing jeans because the seam is quite robust and doesn't yield much to the occasionally nomadic clockweight.

It's just happened to me and I let out an involuntary noise which caused my missus much merriment.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 21:56, 3 replies)

Sleeping
*Click* for having equally recalcitrant swingers.

Certain kinds of boxer shorts do this to me when I sleep too. I've tried for years to pin down exactly which types do it, but I have failed. All I know now is which pairs I can't sleep in. Every time I refresh my shreddies drawer I have to play night-time plum roulette all over again.
( Scrumper, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 22:02, closed)

I can't get the tune "Wandrin' Star" by Lee Marvin
out of my head now.

"I was bo-orn, with a pair of wan-drin' bollocks."
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 1:10, closed)

Spotify
Will introduce this to me later and with any luck I'll have something else to quietly giggle about at night. I like to keep my wife moderately concerned about my mental health.
( Scrumper, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 19:27, closed)