I think everything I could possibly contribute here has already been said, so I'll keep it brief and just call you a pretentious bellend, you pretentious bellend.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 16:05, 1 reply)

That's not what pretentious means, oh dear.
(TheManHimself Beer Drinkin', Breath Stinkin', Sniffing Glue, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 20:18, closed)

From An Online Dictionary
pre·ten·tious (pr-tnshs)
adj.
1. Claiming or demanding a position of distinction or merit, especially when unjustified.
2. Making or marked by an extravagant outward show; ostentatious.


On the evidence of his post I'd suggest that the OP's claim to be 'chilled out' to fit the definition.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 20:56, closed)

oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/pretentious
adjective
attempting to impress by affecting greater importance or merit than is actually possessed:
pretentious art films
the pretentious jargon of wine experts
I'm not sure that this definition would apply to his post, and tbh what pisses me off is that the word becomes a catchall insult for those who it actually defines.
(TheManHimself Beer Drinkin', Breath Stinkin', Sniffing Glue, Sun 13 Oct 2013, 21:47, closed)

in summary: "I know you are but what am I?"

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 0:52, closed)

Yeah maybe
(TheManHimself Beer Drinkin', Breath Stinkin', Sniffing Glue, Mon 14 Oct 2013, 7:58, closed)

'NO U', surely?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 16:02, closed)

My little explanation at the end there wasn't a jab at you
(TheManHimself Beer Drinkin', Breath Stinkin', Sniffing Glue, Tue 15 Oct 2013, 18:54, closed)