Doomed relationships
My girlfriend (of five years) went on a one year round the world trip. She tearfully said goodbye at Heathrow airport and said "Will you wait for me?" I did, she didn't. I had two postcards from her over the year she was away (which should have been a big enough clue). I met her at the airport on her return just in time to get dumped.

If she's reading this, I would just like her to know she has a big nose and I always thought of her sister during the unfulfilling, lifeless and infrequent sex we had.

I knew another relationship was over when she asked me to move out of 'her' flat on my birthday(I was under the foolish apprehension that it was 'our' flat). Then she moved to New Zealand.

Still, it helped me re-kick-start my life and now I am full of new zeal and energy.

EDIT: Probably worth pointing out that both of the women in the relationships mentioned above knew it was over an *awful* long time sooner than I did and were making great efforts to make things work.

I was bumbling along in the not unusual bloke attitude of "I know it's not brilliant but I'm far too lazy to improve things" Sorry.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Thu 21 Jul 2005, 11:36, Reply)