Doomed employment
I knew the job was over when I was invited by post to a 'fact finding interview about my performance over the last six months'. I asked another manager for reassurance "This is normal right? This happens at the end of everyone's first six months right?"

He took the letter off me, glanced at it briefly then said "Um, no that's what we do when we want to sack people. Bye".

I knew another job (sorry, I mean bout of soul-less IT procurement drudgery) was over when I stopped responding to work emails, invoices, phone calls etc and started referring out loud to my dustbin as my "special cupboard" and the shredder as my "chamber of secrets". If you shred or bin all your work, you don't have to do anything right?

Therefore when managers came over to ask me where the invoices for their PC's, servers etc were, I could honestly say "Well, I don't seem to have them on my desk". It wasn't my fault, the three days training I had for the job was from a gibbering loon who told me nothing about the role, instead he said "I like buses" for three days.
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Thu 21 Jul 2005, 11:47, Reply)