The end of an era
I used to work as assistant manager in a pub in town. It had recently been taken over by a chain of try-hard bars but for the first six months wasn't too busy. The manager got the sack and they shipped in this northern guy whose job it was to turn around failing pubs.

To be fair, the pub did get a lot busier but profits didn't improve much. This was mainly due to the lock-ins we were having every night of the week and the fact that me and the manager were "borrowing" money from the till to pay for cocaine.

When the owners found out we'd run up a £9,000 stock defecit in 3 months, things didn't look good.

The manager was sacked and replaced with a useless, 25 stone woman from the town who I've always disliked anyway. After a week of working with her it became clear that she knew fuck all about running pubs and was content to sit on her arse all day watching tv while I did all the work.

Things came to a head after a week. It was a friday night and a bank holiday weekend so we were due to shut an hour later. I had a few shots with one of my fellow barmen, a concoction of our own devising made from Absinthe and Agwa (Distilled from coco leaves, not sure if you can get it anywhere except Brighton) which we named the Scagwa. Before we knew it, we'd finished both bottles.

Half a bottle of Absinthe does funny things to you and inevitably I ended up arguing with the fat manager. We had a dj playing and she chose to cut the music temporarily just as I shouted at the boss "Basically you're a fat cunt and everyone hates you". Deathly silence across the bar followed by a rousing round of applause from the 150 odd people in there.

Amazingly she only barred me for 6 months...
(Ed Can Do, Thu 21 Jul 2005, 13:30, Reply)