Job Interview DisastersThe boss showed me the shop floor, complete with loose floor tiles, out-of-date equipment and prospective colleagues eyeing me like a raw steak. "Christ, what a craphole", I said. I think that's the moment I blew it. Tell us how you didn't get the job.
Suggested by Field Marshall Dozington-Smythe (Ret.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 21 Nov 2013, 13:06)
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Career-orientated slapstickA few years ago I applied for a company describing itself as "young and dynamic", because I was too young at the time to realise that "young and dynamic" meant "you will be chained to your respective oar and made to follow the beat of the paunchy bald guy with the big drum and the come-wither eyes."
The company itself was a tiny affair at the time, owned by and consisting entirely of a girl and her boyfriend, so they rented one office in a business centre and shared the conferencing facilities offered by the centre itself. This included the basement meeting room. I was briefly welcomed by the pair of them on the day itself and invited to follow them down to the meeting room, ticking off as I did so the "be interviewed in a sex dungeon" entry on my bucket list.
The meeting room was small, dark and equipped with an asthmatic coffee machine. It was also equipped with the most motley suite of executive furniture I've ever seen outside of an IKEA. The company owners each perched on a bar stool to interview me, leaving me a leather armchair tailor-made for an eight-year-old. I tried to maintain as much dignity as possible while lowering myself below and beyond the call of duty in an attempt to attain a sitting position. Just as it felt as though my shoulders were about to swap places, I discovered that the My First Executive Chair was actually on wheels. My arms shot out backwards as the chair whooshed out from under me, and I sprawled on my arse looking as though I'd just been hoofed in the chest by an invisible cow.
They laughed it off and offered me the job after the interview anyway, using humour and empathy as a means of disguising their actual cuntishness.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 25 Nov 2013, 17:34,
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Young and Dynamic means woefully optimistic the pay is shit and sometimes it's late and one day you are going to have to stand in line behind the secured creditors to get it.
(, Tue 26 Nov 2013, 2:56, closed)
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