Dole
While drunk one night, my mate pushed me and I fell against a wall, spraining a ligament in my hand. I had to have it bandaged for support.

Signing on a couple of days later, the bitch dealing with my signing noticed my bandaged hand.

I was told –
Her - "Your benefits will be stopped"
me - "Huh? why?"
her - "You cant work with that injury"
me - " It's just a sprain, I’ll be fine in a couple of days”
her – “Sorry, it’s the rules”
me – “If you can get me a job in a couple of days, I’ll work WITH this injury, I’ve been unemployed for 3 years now”
her – “It’s the rules”
me – “Look, I can move it, it’s not like a break or anything”
her – “It’s the rules”

Off benefits immediately, hand was fine in a couple of days. This doesn’t change the fact I was now without any sort of income.

It took three weeks, multiple phone calls, letters and a trip to the local chav jobcentre in Wallsend (frightening, frightening place, the staff are more secure than bank tellers) to get me back on……..

Revenge was mine a couple of weeks after getting it all sorted out, when I actually did get a job, and celebrated by getting mortal and arcing thick streams of Stella based urine through the small gap between the jobcentres glass doors, at the start of a particularly warm summer weekend.

I’m not apologising for length. I’ve waited nearly eight years to get that off my chest. :D
(Pandaemonium, Fri 13 May 2005, 9:55, Reply)