breakfast twunt
i'd spent 7 weeks prior to the millenium in India, having an all-round lovely time. Sadly the time came to return, the one plus point of which was my lovely girlfriend of the time was picking me up from the airport. So, I arrived, joy was unconfined etc, and we decided that, as it was january, it'd be good to go to the seaside - so off we trolleyed to Bognor. Now, i'd spent the last 7 weeks eating lots of daal and chapati, and fancied an English breakfast,so found a Macari's (sort of small scale south coast chain cafe) and ordered 2 x full english please. Then my other half realised she'd like toast not fried bread. When i passed this request onto the vile toad like woman serving, she fixed me with her gimlet eye and said "no substitutions!!". Hmmmm. So, i thought she cleary misunderstood, so i asked again - same response. i tried changing tack and said - "look, that bit of bread in your hand, instead of putting it into that there frying pan, how about popping it into that toaster?" But no, she wasnt having it. Seeing my "about to shout at some ignorant cunt meter" hitting the redzone, my girlie told me to leave it, and sat me down. So, when my breakky arrived, i realised there was no ketchup, and saw one of those pump action squirty things onthe counter top. i took my plate over, and was just about to push the top of the dispensert, when vile woman sprinted along the counter, knocked my hand out of the way and said - "5p a squirt"......


i believe it was my fine grasp of the language rather than the threat of an imminent sausage/rectum interface scenario that made her decide i could have free ketchup....
(micky2shoes has more shoes than feet, Mon 16 May 2005, 12:46, Reply)