Oh, God...
I think Simon, the manager of the Exeter Pizza Hut delivery shop must take the prize. Biggest idiot in the world. Picture poor little me, soaked and shivering after 8 hours riding pizzas out on a moped in the sleet. All I want is a bit of hot grub to keep me going.

Then picture the Hut, extremely busy on this 'orrible night when even a trip to the corner shop is out of the question. There's a huge pile of pizzas, chicken wings, wedges, you name it, all hot and stacked on top of the oven as a result of orders getting confused in the heat of the moment. They're put up there until somebody has the time to bung them all in the bin. But no, Simon says, that is all still 'company property' and anybody caught 'stealing' it will be 'disciplined'.

And you think Ryanair came up with the 'No charging your mobile at work' thing? It was Simon, actually.

Simon: Unplug your phone, that's not allowed here.
Me: But the battery's flat! What if I can't find a house and need to call?
Simon: Just unplug it, please.

1/2 hour later:

Simon: Where the hell have you been?
Me: I couldn't find the house, and my battery was flat. Can I plug it it now?
Simon: No.

I hope he's been shot. But I imagine he's a regional director of something by now.
(Whizzer, Mon 16 May 2005, 13:40, Reply)