Girls poo! Yes! Seriously!
Camp generates the best shit stories- here is one of them.

Long one, so apologies for length in advance.

Last year was my first time as a counselor at my youth movement's end-of-year camp. I led the 11-to-12-year-old age group. The age group have a Hebrew name (Shtilim) which means "Saplings". They are called this because they are green. foul-smelling and hit you in the face if you bend them too much. We try and keep them occupied for three weeks to stop them going insane from boredom and to let their parents recuperate.

So anyway, I was tasked with taking care of a group of 8 girls from Johannesburg. They were righteous terrors, staying up until 3 in the morning to sing Rhianna songs and smash the boys' ladders (they used ladders to get to the cabins in which they slept).

However, none was more terrifying than Elena*.

Elena was a slightly addled kid who was notorious for jumping off the (15m high) kitchen roof and bringing homeless people from the nearby beach to the site because she "thought they were cute". We were mortally afraid that she would end up pregnant or something. Thankfully, this did not happen. After a week, we relaxed, thinking the threshhold for insanity had passed.

Little did I know that things were to become slightly surreal.

I was wakened one Thursday night by a bloodcurdling howl. "ROOOOOOBEEERRRRT!!!!!!" This was repeated 7 or 8 times. I pulled my clothes on and raced to the cabin. Upon enquiry, it transpired that Elena wanted an escort to the shithouse. I politely declined and invited her (by now wide-awake) friends to take her. They told me in no uncertain terms that there was no way they were going to take "that filthy minger [their words] to the bathroom because last time she had, without warning, dropped trou and curled one out in the shower.

I informed them that it was not my responsibility to take anyone to the bathroom, that it was 3am and I was exhausted and going to sleep. Bad move, Mugabe.

The next morning, the girls were found outside their cabin, shivering with cold. Why? Elena, after crapping them all out (wait for it...) had literally crapped them out. Yes, she had laid a chud on the floor of the cabin- I never thought that anyone could do that and come up with a response like hers ("But I needed iiiiitttttuuuuggghhhh!!!"). She went home that afternoon. It fell to her cabin counselor to clean up, as none of the girls would tough the log. The stench of that 12-year-old girl's product nearly melted my brain and dribbled it out of my arsehole.

I'm taking 15-year-olds this year, thank fuck.

Length? 18 cm and yellow like bad curry.
(Tiktock Beating off flamers with a shitty stick, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 16:00, 3 replies)

*clicks*
Bravo.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 17 Apr 2008, 16:09, closed)

*clicks*
well done for not giving in to the bugger.
(ladyflash Formally known as "oshi_", Thu 17 Apr 2008, 16:36, closed)

*click*
(exit, wiping eyes)
(lustfish, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 6:18, closed)