@Kaol
100 foot????

Directions , please, to your place

*meanders along steadily*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:57, Reply)

Oi! Wanker!
*flashes lights, shakes fist*
( Cawl, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:57, Reply)

First?
Just to change the theme a bit...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:57, Reply)

Tailgates in BMW 318 on phone, shouting

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:56, Reply)

chcb
I couldn't keep the 100-foot monster in...
( Cawl, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:56, Reply)

I like Pie
But I don't want to share..... there, the real reason I don't want kids, end this already......
(UncleChuckles "Cthulhu fhtagn", Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:56, Reply)

My kid
Vomited on my xbox. I can't wait till he is old enough to get a console and I drink so much I need to vomit.
(oeb, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:55, Reply)

Apologies for lack of humour, but it does fit with the topic...
...but my friend (who is from Senegal) just phoned me to say that his daughter has died, at 7 years of age.

He doesn't even have the money to buy a plane ticket so he can go back for her funeral.

I can't imagine how he must be feeling.

It puts everything in perspective doesn't it?

May she rest in peace...
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:55, 2 replies)

undertakes on the hard shoulder
on a lttle red trike
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:55, Reply)

I'd not recommend that
He's a wanker, and gigantic.
He might eat you.
( Cawl, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:54, Reply)

Of course, this doesn't explain
why I'm doing what I can to get my OH access to his kids as his witch of an ex-wife has stopped all contact.

See, I'm a nice person really......
(Beklet is inexplicably angry, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:54, Reply)

Kaol
I've warned you about getting your minion out in public!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:54, Reply)

*skips in front of Kaols boss*

(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:54, Reply)

Dammit
My boss is coming in soon.
( Cawl, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:53, Reply)

my eyes my eyes!
last?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:53, Reply)

puts goat under arm
and keeps right on going
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:53, Reply)

Only This can save me now...
Go my faithful minion!

( Cawl, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:53, Reply)

No....
..I still don't want kids.

They're not cute and they squeal. I can't stand the squealing. It wouldn't be so bad if they had reason to do it. Sitting in a nice warm comfy pushchair in the queue in Boots at lunchtime is not reason enough.
(Beklet is inexplicably angry, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:53, Reply)

Gracefully edges in front
to the strains of Vangelis.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:53, Reply)

*trips on goat*
*but stumbles ahead*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:52, Reply)

Noooo!
Not the goats!
( Cawl, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:52, Reply)

*releases goats*
so long, suckers!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:51, Reply)

I thought the obsession with coming last
Was a male thing?



*ducks further into gutter*
(osok Rebel without a clue, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:51, Reply)

Chesney
Was a mistake. Sorry.
( Cawl, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:51, Reply)

eagerly awaits.......
And pounces at the last second
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:51, Reply)

next QOTW
Goats - how do you fuck yours?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:51, 1 reply)

one last story
My older brother, 5 years older than me. Athletic, head of school, Captain of the first etc etc etc you can imagine the guy. I think some of you know that i am adopted and was originally born in Ireland. Now the family that wanted to adopt me where weighing up a tough choice, adopt me, an even lengthier process and quite intrusive due to the legislation or adopt an English baby. Now the story goes that my prospective folks and there parents where talking about this over a weekend and classic older people round the kitchn table debating. My bro who was five ish at the time was just hanging around occasionally saying "Mummy" "daddy", Grandma grandad etc, for a long time and as parents do they ignored him until Mum finally piped up and said "what do you want nick?" (for that is his name) and apparently he said " I like the other baby(me) i want him to be my brother"

That swung it for my olds and hey presto 20 years later here i am writing this story. Sure he was my older brother and he beat me up, shot me with an air rifle, wiped my zelda on snes twice, constant dead legs etc but for that one moment ill always be grateful. Thank fuck he wont read this ill never hear the end of it.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:51, Reply)

Stupid is
as stupid does.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:51, Reply)

noBODY i'd rather be
*uses pedant hat to prevent chasing field from catching*
(Bazongaloid, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:51, 1 reply)

I'm going to
Get first new post too...
( Cawl, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 13:51, Reply)