#6 Playgroups
This one is partly a pearoast as I've mentioned a bit of it before…but here's the full story this time….




Back in the mists of time when there was a policeman on every corner, milkmen in every housewives bed, dog turds were white and summers lasted for decades…

I was at pre-school.

Except back in those days only posh children went to pre-school. I went to the local Playgroup which was held on a daily basis in the local village hall.

My mum was very pleased to get me off her hands for a couple of hours each day as I was mostly an irritating little madam.
I was very pleased to go off to Playgroup because I liked to explain to the other children just how they should play their games properly.

I've always been very helpful.

So helpful in fact that the Playgroup leader asked my mother to bring me only once a week as they had enough help on the other days.


Now I was blissfully unaware of this turn of events and fortunately my parents never ever made any move to stamp out my natural leadership and organisational abilities thus enabling me to become the rounded individual I am now.


However, ones genetic coding does tend to get the better of you sooner or later particularly if you decide to pop a couple of babies….

Mine went off to Playgroup (sorry, I'm still neither posh or wealthy enough to afford the local Pre-schools or Pre-Preps ) at three for a couple of mornings a week.

Wonderful! Childcare (respite!) at last.

All went well for a good few months, they both began to go for four mornings and I began to regain my life and my coffee addiction.

Then disaster struck.

I was called in one morning when I went to pick them up…the youngest (the now budding entrepreneur) was experiencing difficulties…

Well, more than 'difficulties'….

The Playgroup Leader asked if I could speak to him and make him refrain from organising the morning's events.

Apparently if the Leader asked the children to come and sit down for a story my little darling would encourage them to start playing trains or singing 'Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes' or running around the hall while screaming out "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" which when you're three years old is fantastic fun.

In other words, my offspring had better leadership capabilities than the woman in charge and she didn't like it.

I was shocked. I promised to speak to him.

I did speak to him - I told him that some people in this world are useless at organising things, some are brilliant. He's brilliant but sometimes sadly you need to let the grown-ups think they're in charge.

When I told my own mother she laughed. A lot. Then she told me about my own Playgroup time.

Oh.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 16:17, 6 replies)

I love..
Metaphors and synonyms.

Some favs:

"Mists of time." For added effect (only to be used on Gothic boards.." Mysts Of Tyme.....

"When the moon was young and the rocks were soft" - still a fav of mine and I've probably used it to DEATH.....

"I remember when it was all fields 'round here..." another goody...

But you, dear lady, have just given me a new one....

"When dogshite was still white.."

I'm of the age to remember this and I also know why dog turds are no longer white...

But it's a cracking indicator of a posters age....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 16:26, closed)

I went to a playgroup before school as well
during my two years there I split my head open twice and broke my nose! Surprisingly, I do have fond memories of the place.

My daughters both went to Nursery (2.5 hours per day, five days a week) as our local Council guarantees this free for all kids.

Couldn't have done without it!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Fri 18 Apr 2008, 16:35, closed)

Okay then, Legless...
...enlighten us. Why are dog turds no longer white?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 18 Apr 2008, 17:04, closed)

Everyone knows why
It's because they no longer put chalk or bones into dog food as a filler.

BTW Chikinlady sorry but your kid sounds a pain in the fanny.
(Stiff Richard, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 17:05, closed)

Sorry Gloria but it sounds like her kid has her head screwed on just fine
Let people *think* they're in charge, when you're the one running the show. You think men have been in charge since the neolithic?

Oh, and another one- when snow was real snow as opposed to slush.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 18 Apr 2008, 23:24, closed)

M & S

When I had hair.
When beer was cheap and tits were firm.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 22 Apr 2008, 11:53, closed)