This one's for Britney!
Many summers ago, I think my second after moving to South Korea, I was among foreigners at a punk show. It was July 3, the day before some big holiday Americans have, so they were out in full force. I should add quickly that I'm Canadian, so a lot of them (all friends) were eager to take their frustration out on me. Second side-note: every single Canadian musician who makes it big in the US is a total knob; we keep the good stuff for ourselves.

My American friend Paul came up to me and said “This is for Celine
Dion,” and punched me in the arm.

Then another guy came over and said “This is for Avril Lavigne,” and gave me a punch too.

Then Josh, a big American skinhead, hit me harder than the first two and said “That’s for Bryan Adams.”

At that point, me in front of this big group of Americans, I
decided to wind them up. I was taking each of these shots as penance for my country unleashing some godawful musicians on the world, and I wanted to make sure they were thorough. “There’s one other you forgot about. Please, somebody punch me for Shania Twain. I beg you.”

So Josh gave me a gut shot, and I took it obediently...

Of course, the Americans aren't known for putting out that much high-quality popular music themselves (try naming a single Canadian boy band), so I'd already been setting up for the next one.

I said “This is for Britney!” and elbowed Josh in the solar plexus, sending him right onto his ass and making his beer spray all over a couple more of his Commonwealthily-challenged friends.

Anyway, it’s too bad Molson Canadian was bought out by an American company, because I could’ve made some money selling this tale as a beer commercial.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 17:49, 5 replies)

*big hug*
This is for your country (Vansterdam) producing some fine herbal remedies, that I am enjoying.....A lot!!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 17:53, closed)

You could have beat on all of them
For George Bush. Surely that's worth a kick to the nads.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 3 Feb 2011, 17:59, closed)

You should have cunted them in the fuck
and replied, "JON STEWART, BITCHES!"
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 4 Feb 2011, 2:46, closed)

You should have killed them all and said "This is for Americans"

(TheColonel, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 9:59, closed)

You should have round-housed any one of em for Billy Joel
(Cov Boy, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 10:39, closed)