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This is a question "Needless to say, I had the last laugh"

Celebrity autobiographies are filled to the brim with self-righteous tales of smug oneupmanship. So, forget you had any shame, grab a coffee and a croissant, and tell us your smug tales of when you got one over somebody.

Thanks to Ring of Fire for the suggestion

(, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 12:55)
Pages: Popular, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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The Spanish Balloon
My family (my mother, my sister and myself) all travel to Spain for a family holiday. I'm 5 at the time, my sister 11, just coming up to her 12th birthday. At one point during an afternoon outing my sister grabs my shoulder and tells me we're going to sit by a fountain. As most 5-year-olds do, I asked why. Sister tells me that mum actually hates me and we were waiting for someone to come along and adopt me, and this is the spot my new family told us to wait at.

I took this in for a minute... where did mum go? Did she really hate me? It was all too much and I began to cry.

Even worse, sis had a camera. Photos were taken. She told me that I should cheer up and smile, else nobody would take me and I'd have to live on the streets. As I wailed louder at the tragedy of it all, she just kept snapping away.

Five minutes later, mum shows up. She'd gone to use a bathroom in a local restaurant. She laughs at me and calls me a silly plonker. She takes me to a tatty souvenir store so I can buy some junk and so she can stop my crying.

For a reason I don't understand, I chose what can be described as a primitive stress ball - a purple balloon filled with some squishy powder inside it to make it malleable, with a face drawn on it with a silver pen. Tacky, cheap and nasty - but it was heaven for a kid - I had fun warping its face and shape and punching it in the face and seeing my fist indentations. My sister was pissed off that I got a treat and she didn't.

Spring forwards a few weeks, to my sister's 12th birthday party. She'd managed to round up most of the cool kids from senior school, including one guy she had a massive crush on. Anyway, they eventually get to the presents. Remembering how sad she was that I got one and she didn't, I try to give her my malleable balloon-faced Spanish toy. The group heard the tale from my mother of how this toy came to be mine and she got a few looks of scorn for her mean trick, one from cool crush-guy. Sis was kinda livid at me, especially after the group d'awwwed at my attempt to make my sister happy. I was gatecrashing her party.

She screams out loud to the group to get the attention off of me, "This is ugly and stupid and a baby toy!" She grabs it and twists it firmly with both hands in anger, as if she were trying to snap it.

But it didn't just snap. It exploded with a delightful noise, like the sound of a cushion hitting the floor. And whatever that powdery stuff was inside the balloon, it hit her flush in the face. Party was abandoned as she flew into a rage and had to take a shower to get the mess off of her.

But not before mum took a picture of her like that to go next to my crying pictures in the family album.
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 9:53, 4 replies)
Haha great.
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 11:47, closed)
Aww, giving her the toy was a nice thing to do. And resulted in a rather funny ending! XD
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 12:39, closed)
your sister is an evil bitch
just like most big sisters.
(, Sun 6 Feb 2011, 18:24, closed)
Your sister does sound very mean....
.. I hope she is nicer as an adult.

I hope our girls are never this nasty to each other... but good to see you getting deserved revenge by being the thoughtful one.

(, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 12:22, closed)

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