Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
(
chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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I don't phone in sick too often......but about two months ago, I didn’t make it into work, because due to vigorously towel drying my hair after stepping out of the shower, I twisted my neck too far to the right. I knew I’d hurt myself straight away, felt shooting pains down my back, and I couldn’t move my head to the left, a necessary thing for me to do, not just for work. I mean, call me weird, but I generally like looking in that direction sometimes. I had to sit down on the porcelain throne straight away and text my boss saying what I’d done. I wasn’t going to lie, I told him the truth. His reply was “You couldn’t make this up. You really couldn’t.” Walked down the stairs afterwards like some kind of hunchback because I couldn't stand up properly or anything. Was fine by the next day though.
True story that, and not the first incident of it’s kind with me.
I once slept on my left arm (whilst forgetting to take my watch off one night) to wake up with what looked like a developing blood clot under the skin of my left wrist where I’d cut the blood supply to my hand off during the night!!!! Absolutely shat myself and took two days off work due to the pain of only having one working arm.
I have still not lived that one down to this day. That happened over two years ago, and the last time it was referred to by my workmates was five days ago. But of course, it gets referred to as my "wanking injury".
Apparently you’re supposed to do a length joke here.
(, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 12:09, Reply)
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