Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
(
chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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...Many years ago I was duped into becoming a recruitment consultant, exactly the career to inspire hatred in yourself but more so for your colleagues. Bunch of cunts the lot of em. Anyway I digress, at said job after about eight months I became increasingly despondent and would do almost anything to avoid work or going to work, notably drinking my body weight in alcohol each night. So the excuses for being late became ever more elaborate but one which sticks in my mind which (sadly not my own idea) was to phone up and say I couldn't come into work as I had chronic masturbation problem and could no longer get out of bed before I'd had at least three wanks.
Think i lasted about another week being employed in recruitment before i called the director a cnut and went back to Uni.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 8:51, Reply)
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