Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
(
chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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late for a date....after a, ahem, slash, I'd caught teh old man on me zip and in conversation with the quack had sed it was getting tight anyways, so, they whipped me in teh hosp. and whipped off the fiveskin....
I woke up later that day after teh operation and needed a piss & as they'd used a spine block me bladder had swollen like blue balls on a bull, I waddled to the bog only to see my reflection in the full length mirror, oh for a camera!!! the old man was twice as fat and forget the babys arm holding an apple this was a bell end like a comice pear!!! (only bruised black and blue naturellement)
er, i digress: I'd forgotten I was meeting Carol, who had arrived at my gaff-me not in, so, harassed mates-they no telling and in some neurotic trance had rung the local hospitals & turned up with a pressie of sheepskin gloves......tho' I still couldn't hump her or anything else for that matter for about a week.
Those sheepskin gloves? soft as yer mums puss.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 9:56, Reply)
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