Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
(
chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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Got run over by The Queen (nearly)Having manouvered my bike through several lanes of traffic I've now reached the centre of the Mall and am feeling super nimble. As I near the pedestrian crossing, two police on motorcycles roar past my left with lights going. They zoom around the Victoria Monument in front of Buck Palace and stop directly ahead of me.
Now being at the centre of the Mall, I need to use this crossing. I hop off and wait, as do the cops.
After a while I get bored of waiting. The traffic's all stopped on the other side of the monument, but no vehicles can be seen exiting the palace. I put my foot to the pedal, intending to make my move.
DON'T YOU F*CKING MOVE. LOOK! yells the nearest cop, pointing directly at me. At least I think he is pointing at me.
He is actually pointing at the very shiny, very expensive looking car being driven at speed on THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD. Sitting bolt upright in the back is a monarch, her expression registering some concern.
I mean, what the hell was she thinking?
(, Fri 29 Jun 2007, 18:13, Reply)
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