I was once late for work because the forecaster I was on with had nicked a police landrover.
True story. It's going to be a long one, but bear with me.
This guy, Frank, was a lovely bloke, but a complete and utter fuck-up. Broke everything he touched. The deal is this: To get into work we are provided with two vehicles, one stays at the office in case of an emergency with the guys on shift, the other is parked at the forecasters' accomodation block, because it's further for them to travel to the mess than it is for the observers, so the forecaster drives to the mess, has his food and picks up the observer from outside the mess before driving into work.
So, it's a Sunday morning which means that there's just the two of us coming into work, no boss, no admin. I'm a lazy fucker, so I'd rather have an extra ten minutes in bed than go for breakfast. I get to the mess at just gone ten past seven. We're supposed to leave at quarter past. We'd taken delivery of two new landrovers earlier that week so I'd memorised the licence plates, because there's a LOT of landrovers at MPA. Sat in the Met parking space was a police wagon, red front panels, blue light on top, the works. So I just figure that the filth have nicked our slot, and I trundle around the mess carpark looking for one of our new rovers. I didn't find one. By now it's gone quarter past and there's no sign of Frankie-boy. I figure he's just having a bit of a lie-in and is skipping breakfast, no big deal but he is pushing it a little. Twenty past comes and goes, no sign of him. At twenty five past I phone in and say "Sorry guys, looks like Frank may have slept in. Can you ring Tom (Our Admin Bloke)'s room and get him to wake him up" (Because the forecaster's don't have phones in their rooms). So my colleague stays on the line while the guy he's on with rings Tom. Tom hammers on Franks door, no result. So I figure Frank's got up late and is now on his way round. I head outside to wait. As I'm coming out of the mess doors I see Frank coming out of his mess.
Me: "Frank! Where the fuck have you been? We're late!"
Frank: "Yeah, sorry about that, I got chatting and didn't realise what the time was."
Me: "Ok, let's just get going. Where's the wagon?"
Frank: "Here."
We're at our parking slot by now. The one with the police rover in.
Me: "Frank, that's not our rover."
Frank: "Yes it is it's one of the new ones"
Me: "Frank, it's a police rover. And it's not new."
Frank: "Well it was parked outside the swamp and the keys were in it, so I thought it must be ours."
Me: "Frank, why the shuddering FUCK would MT give us a rover with a blue light on top?"
Frank: "Ah."
Me: "Let's get it back to the swamp, get ours and hope the pigs don't realise it's gone yet."
We made it into work about an hour late.
Length? I think it would have been a fine rather than a jail sentence.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 30 Jun 2007, 6:01, Reply)