Why I was late"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.
Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.
When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.
Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.
That is why I couldn't get here on time today."
What's your best excuse?
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chthonic, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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It's OK I'm alive!One Monday I was a bit (very) late and still a bit stoned, so I told my boss that I had been at the hospital all weekend because I'd had a minor stroke.
I was working on the premise that nobody would lie about something like that, so my deception would remain...erm...deceptive.
Anyway, my fecklessness continued and a couple of weeks later rather than go to work I smoked an 8am big'un with the plan of sleeping til lunch time and then some light self abuse.
Imagine how thrilled I was to be woken by my boss at around 10am, with my mate gleefully grinning over his shoulder. And how thrilled he was to find me mashed and red eyed surrounded by DRUGS.
He'd asked my housemates where I was (we all worked at the same place) and they told him they'd not seen me since the evening before, when I'd gone to bed early complaining of a headache.(True) My Boss -bless him- decided I'd been struck down by another stroke and set out to save me.
And the outcome - fuck all. This was a huge American corporation, as long as you didn’t say something that could be construed as being possibly sexist or racist it was impossible to get sacked. I think I had to see the occupational counselor for a couple of mornings.
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Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 3 Jul 2007, 10:08,
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